(:

2007-05-13T05:53:00.001-07:00

xanga.com/gatecrashed

bye blogspot, its not me its you.

2007-03-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

hate is too strong a word.
but i really really really really really dont like you.

2007-02-28T04:58:00.000-08:00

listening to: fergie: glamourous

there was this girl you saw everyday in the hall,

you secretly wished that she'd stumble and fall.

you looked down on her and called her names,

now you sit and wondered if you were to blame.

she was always looking on the ground,

she didnt even speak when others weren't around.

nobody took the time to ask her what was wrong,

maybe if you did she wouldn't be gone.

one day you thought it was cool so you called her a freak,

not knowing that her self-esteem was so very weak.

she went home with a tear falling from her eye,

you didnt understand... she wanted to DIE.

you pushed her right over the edge,

now she's hanging from the window ledge.

i bet you feel guilty and ashamed,

you thought what you were doing was just a game.

now as you walk in school,

you are no longer thought to be cool.

you walk with your head down,

hoping people don't realize that you are around.

yesterday a junior called you a bitch,

crying while driving home, you drove into a ditch.

now you realise what you have put her through,

cause its all beginning to happen.... to you.

does chalk <3s>

2007-02-18T01:21:00.000-08:00

listening to: firecrackers- the next door neighbours

i am totally enjoying myself here. dont ever want to get back to singapore.
cousins here start school at like next monday.
i cant believe it.

i met many many many people that i havent met in a while.
its just feels so good to be able to call their names and give then a big hug.
i never want to go back.

2007-02-11T23:31:00.000-08:00

thanks to

charissa:
listening to everything i have to say about myself and buying my new wallet((:

shanna:
for the chocolates, tissue paper and all the love!

ivy:
reminding me that its okay to be me.

jasmine chua:
helping me curse you-know-who.

tancheng:
all those caring messages in the middle of the night((:

dad:
for that 'how to be a happy teen' book.
(in the book, the first rule to be a happy teen was to love your parents.)

A.M.:
for not forgetting me.

thanks to all those who remembered my big day
<3

2007-02-10T02:56:00.000-08:00

listening to : say goodbye-chris brown

i think i am beginning to understand everything slowly.
thanks for all the hugs, chocolates and tissue papers.((:
<3

he left her,
without telling why.
took all her money,
left nothing behind.
she has his baby,
about 4 months ago.
now crippled of emotions,
she jumps.

2007-02-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

mcfly<3

2007-02-02T18:32:00.000-08:00

your emails are the only things that keep me sane.
((:

2007-02-02T02:32:00.000-08:00

listening to: secondhand serenade-your call

all i want for my birthday is for you to be me for a day so you can feel what i feel when you make me cry at night and how you drive me up the wall.
you robbed my smiles and killed my humour.
i hope you are happy now.

screwscrewscrew.

Dont ask me why im crying.
I DONT KNOW.

2007-01-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

i have been so low people look at me and they know,
they can tell that something is wrong
like i dont belong,
well, staring through a window standing outside ther just too happy to care
and i want to be like them but i will mess up again,
i tripped them out when god kicked outside everybody's soul.

and i know that its a wonderful world
but i cant feel it right now,
i thought i was doing well
but i just want to cry now.
well i know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
but i can only see when im gone,
gone as in dead.

2007-01-19T18:05:00.000-08:00

listening to: dad screaming at my door telling me to do something with my life.

I hate my room.
The clutters used to make me comfortable but now everything in my room reminds me of all those times which makes me so sick that i slept in the living room last night.

ms lee is always staring at me as if she knows what evil i did last night and her look just stays in my head.
maths gave me 'the talk' and though he keeps on harping that it isnt to frighten us, i get so scared that cry in my bed.
just thinking of mr lee looking at me screwing up the pieces sends shivers down my spine.
the fact that i passed both chinese test didnt seem to cheer me up a single bit but the fact that i flucked my english made me sick all the way home.

i feel empty and ashamed.
everybody is everything i want to be.
emotions are swallowing me up everyday and leaving me with less and less of myself.

ugly's the name of the world we are all in.
if im right then prove me wrong.

2007-01-12T19:02:00.000-08:00

i decided not to do links.
nothing lasts forever anyway.

2007-01-10T03:01:00.000-08:00

Maybe someday we will see each other again,
And by then you might have forgotten me.
Maybe we wont even see each other again,
But guess what, its okay.

I never thought it would hurt so much,
If so how i wished we didnt start.
You are going away now and it just sucks,
To see you packing your bags and saying :good luck.

You were the one who brought love into my world,
And made sure that you were always near.
You wrote me a poem so here i am,
Writing one to you just to say thanks.

Stop saying that everything is alright,
Stop saying that everything's fine.
Both of us knew there would be this day,
So lets not cry and smile instead.

I will not forget the first time we both kissed,
The rain poured down when we touched lips.

screwscrewscrew.

2007-01-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

listening to:here's to the night-eve 6

new year was kickass.
went over to peep's house to celebrate(:
i was so down and rotten during new year's eve and those people totally cheered me up and gave me so many words of encouragement that made me want to cry.
i want to thank you guys so much.
here's a shoutout to you guys.

charissa:
i love you girl. thanks for standing by me when i faced all the shit. thanks for listening to my secrets and allowing me into yours(:yeah. we are going to be in different classes next year, so i am going to be an insecure freak and tell you not to forget me. 2007 is going to be a great year for you. someone's coming to st.nicks(:

sancia:
hello.we kinnda took a break from everything didnt we? hahah. promise me to take care of char and pinch ryan's buttcheeks for me. (oh my,this is beginning to be like a soap oprea kindda thing) i love you((: dont feel sad about the man. everyone has to say bye someday(:

am:
yeah man.thanks so much for the party(: im going to be alright. thanks for the nights, laughs,songs and poems(: i will certainly miss your holy presence.(inside joke)

mich:
i love the cake(: thank you so much for sitting with me and just hearing me crap.you are the coolest chick i have met(: whatever you are planning to do isnt going to be as easy as getting another piercing, think twice for me ya?

hd:
bye whimp. i hate to say this but i think i am going to miss you. do what you have to do before you take off. i know she isnt just another one of those one-night-stands you have all the time. take care.

here's a toast to all those
who hear me all too well
here's to the nights we felt alive
here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
here's to goodbye
tomorrow's gonna come to soon.

<3

2006-12-31T08:44:00.000-08:00

listening to: say it right-nelly furtado

oh yeserie yes yes. i still feeling distressed over my hair.
://///////////
damn hairdressers.

im feeling on the low right now and nothing seems to cheer me up.
must be the fact that school is starting soon.(or that i had a funny haircut.)
i am so screwed up.
i havent got those damn SNG socks and i havent done my lit and i have forgotten my cello and lets not forget the maths test right smacked in the first week of school.

2007 is so going to be a bad year for me.
im singing it.

2006-12-28T20:10:00.000-08:00

favourite female artist
madonna ( i dont know. i just love her)

favourite male artist
prince

most hated female artist
paris hilton (if she didnt have an album i wouldnt even call her an artist but a you-know-what)

most hated male artist
k-fed or i meant fed-EX (yay.he is back being a loser)

favourite band
mcfly (got naked for music video and at G.A.Y. and penned the song for "night at the museum".they deserve the credit((:)

breakthrough artist
britney spears (duh.got divorced from loser husband,started flashing her crouch,going back to recording studio and started hanging out with paris hilton.no reason why she shouldnt get this.)

favourite TV shows
#5.PCK
#4.the ghost whisperer
#3.prison break
#2.project runway
#1.that 70's show

favourite songs
#5.dance dance-fall out boy
#4.head north turn left-big city dreams
#3.sorry's not good enough-mcfly
#2.show me the money-peter pablo
#1.my love-justintimberlake

most hated songs
#5.you're beautiful-james blunt
#4.star are blind-paris hilton
#3.temperature-sean paul
#2.everytime we touch-cascada
#1.breaking free-HSM

this is totally due to pure boredom and randomness of me. but i really do hate the breaking free song. "we are breaking freeeeeeeeeeeee".geez.

THREE WISDOM 2007.
here i come.

i can see us holding hands,
walking in the beach our toes in the sand.
i can see us on the country side,
sitting on the grass lying side by side.

2006-12-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

Listening to:ms murder-afi

Christmas is over and that only means one thing.
We are going back to school soon and that isnt a nice thought actually.

I got a hair cut.
No.
I got a funny haircut.
I told the hairdresser that i want to layer and shorten my hair just A LITTLE.
But she wasnt listening apparently and now my hair is like shit.
But im happy to say that i manage to save my fringe.

God damn hairdressers.

2006-12-15T20:26:00.000-08:00

tell me what you guys think ya?(:

2006-12-15T03:00:00.000-08:00

my dad kindda wants to like go back to singapore after christmas which is pretty much like my whole holiday.
i dont really want to cause i have homework and cello practices and stuff so i guess that i have to get back and catch up abit.
im living in singapore you know. everything is overrated.
but i really like it here.
everything is just so bizzare, so unhygenic and so shabby. its just so me.
i have decided that someday i will stay in malaysia for good.
malaysia is a beautiful country(with chewing gum and pirated dvds)

Superpowers flex their wings
Hold the world on puppet strings
Egos will feed
While citizens bleed
And thats always the way it is

2006-12-12T05:06:00.000-08:00

listening to: the juliana theory-shotgun serenade

im sure that im either piercing my tongue or lips. (i'll choose the cheaper one)
im not sure if i should get a mohawk.
AM photoshopped me in a mohawk.(and i looked like him)
i dont think im ready to do something that bonkers to my hair just yet.

to michelle:
yes. im still in malaysia, and i havent bought you anything cause i have spent all my money on myself.
but here's the catch, i havent done any homework. damn.
his fathership says fuck in the most elegant way i have heard anyone else say before. what a wanker.

There you are all dressed in black,
so walk away and don't look back.
But if you must then cast a stone,
the light is on but no one's home.
Party ends then on the floor,
and you hear a voice behind the door.
In the dark his games you play,
as you slowly forget your own name.

2006-12-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

listening to: mcr-im not okay

im really sorry if i had hurt you in anyway.
i know that you didnt mean whatever you said.
i love you

you read me like a book except that all the pages are torn and frayed.

2006-12-06T18:33:00.000-08:00

cartel-burn this city

And stay up all night and sleep all day
We were smart kids with too much to say
And so, so sure that they were missing out
They're the ones who were missing out, and

We were elemental
talked down to bear essentials
Who knew we'd get so far?

Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops.
They said we'd burn so bright.

We'd burn this city and go.

Play it again,(our Games of Love and Lust)
There's no such thing (no there's never too much).
And we were so, so sure,
NO we never had a doubt.
Now were counting down days to getting out.

We were elemental, talked down to bear essentials.
Who knew we'd get so far?
Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops.
They said we're wasting our lives,

Oh at least we know,
that if we die - we lived with passion.
They said we'd burn so bright.

We'd burn this city and go.

Pack our bags and lets get away - they're catching on to us.

Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops.
They said we're wasting our lives,
Oh at least we know, that if we die - we lived with passion.
They said we'd burn so bright.

We'd burn this city, and go.

Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops.
They said we're wasting our lives,
Oh at least we know, that if we die - we lived with passion.
They said we'd burn so bright.Oh-oh-oh!

Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops.
They said we're wasting our lives,
Well we're not wasting our lives.

i love this song. have been listening to it for a whole month now:/

2006-12-05T03:59:00.000-08:00

alright. blogging two times a day is mental and a total waste of time i know.
but arent all vacations about wasting time doing things you want to do whenever you want to do it?
okay. im not making any sense here.
i bought something good. hope i can bring it back((:

and if you are scared just hide your eyes behnd your hair.
so now you cant see me but you never do anyway.

2006-12-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

2006-11-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

listening to: we are at the top of the world-pathway to providence

im having such a crappy day.
im like in msia so im pretty much just lazing around all day long.
its kindda of scary to be so free all of a sudden.
i hope all of you co people enjoy camping yah?
yikes,no one's online)):

2006-11-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

listening to: baby come on-+44

oh great. my dad's pissed at the whole world again.
well, at least now we know he is back to normal.

2006-11-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

listening to: transylvania-mcfly

I AM SHOCKED, FLABBERGUSTED, SWEPT AWAY, SINGING AWAY IN MY SAPRANO VOICE when i realised that people actually read my posts.
i mean, when i visit people's blog, i dont read the posts. well, sometimes i do when they are about me or when there are pictures.
oh. well thats not the point. the point is that i love love love all of you for reading my blog and telling me to chill when im so pissed off with the whole world and probably the universe.
thank you my sweet darlings(:

went out with AM on mon. oh gosh. that nerd's a goner. we were in the train. and it was like freaking crowded and there was like "real perfume" and "body perfume" and the smell was like invading my nostrills like an army. scary.
by the time we reached yiochukang, i kindda regretted taking the train. this guy raised his ARMPIT and gosh. THERE WAS A FOREST OF HAIR. yeah. i was standing under it. gross.
but a really funny thing happened, AM kindda like turned around suddenly and looked as if he was looking around for something, then the guy behind him was so taken aback, he also did the same thing (turned around suddenly and looked around him) and soon there was a chain reaction. OH.MY.GOD. it was hilarious. when i asked AM what he did that for, he said he was bored. oh my god. it was freaking hilarious. i should have taped it down and post it on youtube or something.people, if you dont get the picture, come ask me. i ll demostrate on the train someday(:

special dedication:
MICH:
hey there. i know you are reading(: i feel so happy for you that you have started to write again. you dont know how much i enjoyed that fanfic you wrote. promise me to write some more okay? and yeah. i know you have bigger breasts then me. no need to brag really.

im feeling much better now, away from the people i usually hang out with. its a nice thing, you know, to be with someone else for a change(: someone who is not so caught up with her ownself.

AND I JUST HAVE TO POST THIS. PEOPLE: THIS GIRL IS FROM ST.NICKS AND SHE HAS A FATAL CRUSH ON A MR FROM OUR SCHOOL. TYPICAL LIAN WITH PHOTOSHOPPED NOSE AND EYES. CONTENT FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO SEE WHAT FALLING IN LOVE WITH A TEACHER WILL FEEL LIKE ONLY.
you will be speechelss

people marching to the drums
everybody's having fun to the sound of love
ugly is the world we are all in
and if im right then prove me wrong

2006-11-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

listening to:dead-mcr

you hardly give me a break dont you?
okay fine, so you are not going to invite me to your outing.
you dont have to post it loud and clear on your blog dont you.
all the time, i feel that you dont really want me around.
you are just asking me to come along because no one wants to go with you.
like the library for instance, you only asked me to go when NO ONE WANTS TO GO WITH YOU.
what the fuck?
you just do things your way and expect me to follow you.
and when i try to give my opinion, you give me that really-meh-as-if face and i feel as if you dont trust me enough to believe in the words i say.
when i ask you out, its just no-money, no-time, dont-feel-like.
i feel as though you take me for granted.

why does everyone sees us as best friends?
i dont even feel the connection anymore.
i dont care if this post might just end everything
i feel so betrayed.
you try walking along a dark pavement at night in a city where no one knows you.
thats exactly how i feel right now.
i am always the one that you ask out when NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO GO WITH YOU.
you never wait for me to go for assembly together.
you never wait for me to go for recess together.
WHAT IS THE POINT OF DOING THINGS TOGETHER NOW WHEN I KNOW THAT ITS ALL BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY FUCKING EEJIT THAT HAS FREE TIME TO GO WITH YOU?

you have never treated me like a friend right?
im just some handbag in your carboard and YOU CHOOSE THE DAYS THAT YOU WANT TO TAKE ME OUT.
i had enough of this.
i dont care if i dont look good in front of everyone anymore.

fine.its okay.
we are going to drift apart in sec three anyway.
we know what we feel.so whats the point of trying so hard to pretend to be good friends now.
i guess its just my wishful thinking.you are just something that is bigger than life.

yeah,i might just be talking about you.

2006-11-05T19:07:00.001-08:00

listening to: fireworks- the whitest boy alive

you keep your cards so close to your chest
you are making me confused

its hidden deep what you need to address
if you want to resume

aching and longing never ending fireworks
let it be let it be let it oh baby let it hurt

the heat is on for the action to speed up and ease
we could keep talking but only be certian through means

patience is just another word for getting old
resolution is just impossible as letting go

is there a hint of vulnerable you there a drift in your eyes
could it be that the sharp and the blunt side have shifted this time

i wanted you, you wanted me but he was there
now let it be,let it be, let it be oh baby let it bare

2006-11-01T21:28:00.000-08:00

listening to: liar-taking back sunday

okay, things are better now and this blog is alive again.
celebrated halloween with AM and gang. funness(: scooby doby dooooo(: haha. that look on mich's face was priceless(:

before that i went to plaza sin to have dinner with the cellists((:
we had so much fun with the pizzas and the pastas and all the photo-taking.((:
i had to go home alone and the train was surprisingly empty. my dad told me that i took the last train. too bad i didnt see nay of those scary old ladies that my brother attempted to scare me with. boo.

this are pretty much back on track.my life and everything is making me quite a happy girl already.(: thanks to the following people(:

DAD: hey dad. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE READING THIS.(: thanks for the motivation and all your forgiveness for the times i sweared at you and even did many things most parents will be ashamed of, but you showed me off to your world like i was priceless and that really touched me. i might be good enough YET. but at least you know IM TRYING((: i love you((:

charissa: i will always remember what you told me at changi airport.you have brought me many things that i thought i would nevre have.thanks for the talk, the walk and the thoughts that you have given me. i love you(:

AM: i dont know what to say(: but thanks for the long talks on the phone((: and being there for me since the first day we met.(: things are much better now(: thanks for all those study nights((: you really taught me alot(:

BRO: you quirky little bastard. although i know its conventional for older siblings to THANKS their younger ones, just like to tell you that i love you as much as charissa(: dont be jealous(:

and to all those who are always with me, i love you guys and i treasure whatever relationship i have with you. be it scandalous or not((:

i still dont know what is my purpose in life, but right now sec three is all that matters so lets just work towards that first,yah?

2006-09-07T22:48:00.000-07:00

Well we know Im going away
And how I wish...wish it werent so
So take this wine and drink with me
Lets delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow Ill be gone

2006-08-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

TO:FSY

It's alright to tell me what you think about me
I won't try to argue or hold it against you
I know what you're saying
You must have your reasons
The season is calling your pictures are falling down

The steps that I retrace the sad look on your face
The timing and structure
Did you hear he fucked her
A day late a buck short I'm writing the report
On losing and failing
When I move I'm failing now

And It's happened once again
Im turned away by a friend
Someone that understands and sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone and I've been here for too long
To face this on my own well I guess this is growing up

im cute without the e

2006-07-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

GOOD LUCK RUIYI. ALL OF US LOVE YOU.MAKE THE BEST OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND CALL ME WHEN YOU ARE BACK IN SINGAPORE.
isnt it sad that this lamb is leaving us. shit. i think im going to cry.

2006-07-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

listening to: another girl, another planet- blink 182

i just woke up on this freaky saturday and i realised that my blink 182 cd was still playing on my cdplayer and i was bored and hungry so i handbanged to "all the small things" for 839394828384823 times and now my neck seems to have fallen off.

week five was not a very good week. lots of shit happened and im still feeling a litle fucked up. everything is going so bad that i find it a miricle that im just 14.

read one of the self help websites and they were all full of crap. but they all boil down to one thing "there has got to be something in your life worth living for" i used to tell everyone that when they are down or want to bleed their wrists dry. but now i tell it to myself, it makes no sense at all. i so dont know why. i have got a appointment with the shrink.

people say im crazy. when im in school, i seem to be the happiest person on earth, screaming and shouting and lifting people's skirts. but when im blogging, im like a person living because of mcfly.as a matter or factly, i am.

i need you. i seriously need you.

this should be the longest post ever in this blog.

2006-07-26T02:15:00.000-07:00

listening to:DONT STOP ME NOW- mcfly

the guys played at the G.A.Y Astoria at 22th july and here are some pictures.((:
it was kind of warm so the guys stripped.
HOT!

MCFLY!

2006-07-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

you just triggered the last shot to our relationship. i hope you are happy now. fuck it. i need to listen to mcfly and cheer up

2006-07-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

listening to: the fray-over my head

i dont think i can do it, you know?
i dont show it, but im scared. im scared that i cant make the best out of this shit.
i am wild but at night i retreat into my bed and cry.
i feel so alone and lost.
this is going all too fast and im afraid that i cant handle it.
i hate it. i hate being me. i hate this whole fuck i am going through.
and i dont know why im so flustered.
i thought i was up to it too, but it just came across that they didnt really WANT me.
slash my wrists, swallow all my money, drink from the toilet bowl, tear all my homework, break into mcdonalds and rob a burger.
someone just run a car over me please.

2006-07-19T03:24:00.000-07:00

she is so mature.i feel stupid just standing next to her.

2006-07-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

listening to: right here-staind

yay. i finally got my lazy ass to change the skin.
AND THATS DANNY((:
yesyes.MCFLY(((((:
im so super duperly obesessed with mcfly that i have watched all their videos on youtube.
well. ALMOST ALL.

i went to crazythought.com and found these stuff.
pinch your ass if you think they are funny(:

-when you rearrange 'teacher', you get 'cheater'.
-if the pope goes for a poop, then shouldnt the poop be called HOLY CRAP?
-can fat people go skinny-dipping?
-why isnt there mouse-flavoured cat food?
-a person who plays the piano is called pianist. what about a person which race cars?
-what is the name of a male LADYbird?
-if electricity come from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-if corn oil is made of corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. what is baby oil made of?
-why is a balckboard green?
-do vampires get AIDS?
-do they have "dictionary" in dictionary?
-what does "ok" actually mean?
-why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of wearinf sunglassed is to protect our eyes from the sun?

2006-07-07T05:09:00.000-07:00

listening to: ticket outta loservile-son of dork

i guess that singapore will be in the world cup maybe like in 2022.
till then, lets kill time by supporting other teams.

2006-07-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

i think i will die if i dont share this with you lovely poopbags.

found this on youtube.

its something like the sequeal to TITANIC!!

AND JACK IS ALIVE!!

CAUSE HE WAS FROZEN IN ICE, SO THE SCIENTISTS HEATED HIM UP AND HE WAS *POOF* ALIVE AGAIN! HOWEVER ABOUT 60 YEARS HAS PASSED AND ROSE IS ALREADY DEAD.I ALMOST FLOODED MY HOUSE WHEN I SAW THIS VIDEO.

i guess it is too small here, why dont you click it and watch the FULL SCREEN one and swoon over it?((:

2006-06-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

listening to: dammit-blink 182

ok.the only reason that im blogging is because i have absolutely nothing to amuse myself with.
ok,maybe homework is exceptional.but hell, i am really bored and i dont know why i am bored.
i was actually supposed to go to school today for STNICKSOPENHOUSE.
and we were supposed to wear the fuggy co tee and get this,BROWN shorts.
shoot me someone.
so i almost jumped out of the window out of pure joy when i woke up this morning to a massive massive headache and a *sniff* cold.
so, now i have nothing to do and i cant sleep cos i have been sleeping for as long i know.im afraid that i will never wake up again(classic!)
i cant eat cos there is nothing for me to eat.i cant even shit because the toilet is occupied.
i cannot log onto youtube cause apparently someone hacked my account and now i cant watch porn.
kidding about the last part.
maybe doing my homework is the best thing after all.

2006-06-24T02:35:00.000-07:00

i love mcfly!
their new hit PLEASE PLEASE is so funny PLEASE.
I TOTALLY LOVE DANNY!
dont really like the "please please lindsay" part though.
CHECK OUT THE LYRICS. THESE GUYS ARE ALWAYS INSANELY HILARIOUS((:

2006-06-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

HANDS OFF THE BALLS!!!

poor andriy

2006-06-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

i woke up this morning with a throbbing pain in my head.
have you ever had an experience, which is that when you are semi-awake in the morning, you feel that your eyes are tired but your brian is already awake?
and that horrible brian keeps on reminding you that you have to do the laundry today and finish up your homework?
its a horrible feeling i tell you.
boo.
got to go to youtube to lift my spirits.
ciao.

2006-06-14T03:39:00.000-07:00

listening to: i write sins not tragedies-panic! at the disco

funny conversation:

wanchien:shit.i brought my himework but i forgot to bring a pen.where can i find a pen?
huixian:its the same thing like if you bring a sanitary pad but you forgot to bring panties.now now now, mind telling me where to find a pair of knickers?

RAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
SO FUNNAYE PLEASE.((:

2006-06-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1JM3mm3apQ

GO WATCH GO WATCH!

AND CHECK OUT ALL THEIR VIDEOS!((:

THEY ARE LIKE THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH!(((:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH(:

2006-06-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

listening to:nightmare-halifax and using bro's comp

damn it damn it damn it.bitch ass poopoo piss face.
my bloody computer dont have any chinese sofeware
so i have to copy and paste every single bloody chinese word one by one to words.
and then when i finished, the comp just POOF shuts down by itself.
AND I CANT SWITCH IT ON AGAIN.
fcukfcukfcukfcuk.
i spent like five bloody hours doing the whole thing then the whole computer just bloody hell shuts down and all my hard work is gone.
LUCKILY I HAVE A BLOODY DRAFT.
if not god knows what will happen to me.

2006-06-08T21:11:00.001-07:00

listening to:mr wilmington-lucky boys confusion

FROM KARON
instructions:state eight different points of your ideal lover.mention gender. tag other eight people to do it.

1-one who doesnt like my mum
2-one who simply despises homework
3-one who can cheer me up when i am pissed
4-one who can help me out when im super duper bored and want to be like superman and jump off the building
5-one that loves me.duh
6-one that dont control me.no matter what i do.
7-one that i can boss around.:)
8-one that will be turned on when i press the little cute round button at the side.

PRESENTING THE MOST AMAZING INVENTION OF ALL TIMES:
the television(((:

maybe one day thou shall be an sad old spinster, sitting on the couch with my cat named momo or kiki or titi. and we would be watching the the TV together.
yes.and i can proudly say.
'yes.thats my husband.'

ok.i was just feeling cocky.

2006-06-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

listening to:a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me- fall out boy

-i slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me
-i have got a dark alley and a bad idea that says that you should shut your mouth
-our lawyer made us change the name of this song so that we wont get sued
-its not a effect of the cocaine.i am thinking it must be love.
-Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends
-The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys And A Broken Down Van)

you see. all those long titles of their songs.
i got a nong nong one
urm, imean LONG LONG one.
"i was stuck in a dark alley with five tired boys in fall out boy and a broken down van[i slept with them after drinking champagne and a little cocaine and all i got was this silly song written about me. their lawyer made them change the song title so that they wont get sued.by me]"

woah.

2006-05-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

listening to:dani california-red hot chili peppers
whoots!-
i got that pic from paul twohill's friendster.
my god.
i really like the way its PRESENTED.
how i wish that maths homework can all be like that.
BUT,
girls are nice ok? only some are like exceptions.(:

2006-05-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

name 20 people you can think of right now.Don't read the questions until you've named the 20 people.At the end of this,choose five people to do this.

1) me
2)char
3)san
4)Joanne
5)maykun
6)peiwen
7)jane
8)karon
9)nath
10)gets
11)ivy ng
12)Rachel
13)chinpei
14)Audrey
15)stella
16)shirley
17)elvis
18)porlin
19)melissa
20)moses lim

How did you meet number 14?
I was stuck in the loo one day desperate for toilet paper. She is the kind soul who helped me. I swear its true:DDD

What would you do if you never met number 1?
I don’t know. What if you never met yourself?

What would you do if 9 and 20 dated?
NATH AND MOSES LIM!!!:DDD
a documentary will need to be filmed.
A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!!:DDD
-sniggers-

Do you ever like 19?
oh yes. she is such a dear.
She helps me out with my atoms and molecules:DDDD
she is taken:D

would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
YES. :DDD what a pity elvis is dead. Peiwen must be so UPSET.
:/

Describe number 3.
she is a sexy babe with no ear holes who simply loves number one.:DDD her folks are fierce. She has got a hot cousin btw.

Tell me something about number 7.
really? You sure you wanna hear?
She farts. An aweful lot.
Now we know why her team always get the trophy during hockey matches :DDDD

Do you know any of number 12's family members?
nope.
Maybe yes.
The dog.

What's 8's favourite?
MATHS! :DDDD
I think.

What would you do if 18 confesses that he or she likes you.
I will politely reject her and tell her that she is not my kind.
I aint no lesbo anyway.

who's numer 9 going out with?
oh.
She is MARRIED.
3 kids already.:DDDDDDD

How old is 16?
I have no idea.
80?

when was the last time you spoke to 14?
on Tuesday.
It went like this,”hey Audrey! Your fly is down!”

whats number 2's favourite singer/band?
JOJO((: BoA((:

Would you ever date 4?nope.
She is married to her hockey stick.
Sometimes it has the balls. sometimes it doesn’t ((:

Would you ever date 7?nope.
She is also married to her hockey stick.
Looks like I must go get a hockey stick some day.

Is 15 single?no idea.
She is my senior.
The fiercer one.

What is number 10's last name?
yap((:

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
never.
She prefers prefer blonde guys.
Im nowhere near.
Besides, im totally straight.

school of 3?
st nicks.((:

Where does number 6 live?
SINGAPORE. Somewhere between angmokio and yiokukang.
But honestly, I would like to put her in a zoo.

Whats your favourite thing about number 5?
her maths homework is for me to copy((:
Have you seen number 1 naked?
hey.
Isn’t number one ME?

2006-05-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

listening to-no tomorrow- orsons

lets see the good things huixian had done today:
-she cleaned up the classroom
-she paid full attention during the da chang jing show. she even took down notes.
-she returned her overdue books.
-she did not cam-whore.
-she ate the chocolates which she deserved for getting killed in the class play.
And finally, she passed up her maths homework.

now, lets see the bad things huixian had done today:
-yes yes, she cleaned up the classroom.while posing with the broomstick?
-oh yeah right. if having a heated discussion on whether the doctor guy is gay or not is named PAYING FULL ATTENTION.
-and the fine was 12 bucks.
-cos everyone didnt want to take pictures with her. she was too dangerous:D
-she ate chocolates in front of MAYKUN, the poor fart with a sore throat AND a two day MC.
And finally, she copied her maths homework.

you see, i actually list down all that i did wrong.
and this is call,MORAL COURAGE, i believe.
:/

2006-05-20T09:05:00.001-07:00

the picture above shows MAKSIM MRVICA [pronounced as maxim marrrravista, i believe]
and he was the one who played CROATIAN RHAPSODY [previously on my blog]
he is hot AND married 10 years to his wife and have three children.
i want my future bf to be like him.
then he can play the piano and i can play the cello.
gosh.that will be downright wicked.:)

Guys who know how to play the piano well are so hot.:)
how can you disagree?:)

2006-05-14T06:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY

liaoniang:D

2006-05-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

dad says: "so much money to earn, so little time."
cousin says: "so many girls, so little time."
bro says: "so many games, so little time."

and I say: "SO MANY PROJECTS,SO LITTLE TIME."

we, the sec twos of CHIJ st.nicholas have NO MID YEAR PAPER.yay.
BUT 8 FREAKING PROJECTS DUE ON WEEK EIGHT. which is next week.
AND MORE THEN 3 FREAKING TESTS NEXT WEEK.
ALL ON WEEK EIGHT.

sometimes, i wish that I could have a fairygod mother.
with a wave of her wand, all the stupid projects, freaking tests will all be done.
and I shall live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

gosh, I know what I would wish for my birthday.
A FAIRYGOD MOTHER

:/

2006-05-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

listening to:hard fi-cash machine

oh gosh. ITS SUNDAY!
and im feeling surprisingly relaxed, considering that i havent done my maths and science homework and...mugged for that damn history test.
Lets say, i want to be a gurang guni when i grow up, i dont see how TRIGO, PROTONS AND ELECTRONS and WHO STARTED COMMUNISIUM can help me very much.
bleagh.

anyway on Friday, EARLY DISMISSAL cos our school was used as a polling station.
school CANTEEN, to be exact.
it was, say, a long long time since I was dismissed at ONE. :)
and it was the best early dismissal ever, cos i went to J8 with char and bought this gorgeous bag. :)
see, i told you.I dont really care about politics unless they directly effect me.

tomorrow, bro is having his CA1 and he is so smug about it, he swear that he didnt have to hit the books.
and what is that ignorant squirt doing now?
mugging.

today, she smsed me and told me:"OMG.HE SMSED ME!!!! HAHAXXXX.BUT I GUESS I WONT EVER GET THE CHANCE TO GO OUT WITH HIM.SIGHZZZZ."
gosh, i hate her.
i am in a girls' school for as long as i can remember, so i honestly what is this whole thing about BOYS BOYS and BOYS.
But my mum always tells me to stick to one motto: BOYS HAVE GERMS.
true.
bro havent bathe.
since like friday night?
:/

this post is insanely random.:)

2006-03-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

oh yayness.
GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!!

2006-03-16T22:47:00.001-08:00

yesterday was like shit.
lets recap the shit things that happened to me
1] I and Char went to Causeway Point to watch a movie. We wanted to watch that korean movie but it was only showing at like 10pm so we decided to watch "your,mine and ours". I thought it was a pretty lame show but I ended up watching a lamer show. We told the counter lady that we wanted "yours, mine and ours" and she retardedly gave us the tickets to "date movie", all because I complimented her and said that her fringe was nice.

2] The movie was a total disaster. I didnt enjoy myself that much. Well I think its PORN. Char begs to differ. Maybe she used to all that. heh. :D

3] we went to buy sancia's dear dear nickelback's cd and char bought the BoA cd. and then when we walked out of popular, the alarms were ringing. People looked at us. But hell, I PAID OK? and we had to go way back and let the people scan the tag again. So much for a birthday present.

4] On my way home, I saw my really cute neighbour and of all times, I tripped over my shoelaces.

5] All the warm fuzzies that I wrote for my seniors and juniors were swept away. By my brother. Stupid ignorant spiteful evil little squirt.

Considering all that, lunch at Macs was probably the best thing that happened yesterday.

Not really, those fries made me put on WEIGHT.

2006-03-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

I JUST REALISED.
LIFE ISNT THE PROBLEM.
I AM THE PROBLEM.

2006-02-20T00:08:00.000-08:00

Life's a bitch

2006-02-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

People ask me if I post EVERYTHING in my boring life onto this blog? The answer is NO.
I feel like life is only exciting when you have some dark dirty little secrets that only I myself know off, not even my parents and my closest friends.
:D

Ahh wells, today CCA was kindda,erm,strange, i would say.
Though i dont know if that is really the right word to use.
But, oh wells,it was cos I wasnt playing cello but the bass instead.
And of course this came with quite a bit of objection.
Cos Audrey loves me too much to let me go to bass.
And wan chien loves me too much to stop me from playing one instrument that I really really love.[and one that I have been playing the past year.]

To wanchien,
its nice to know that there is someone there rooting for me and fighting for my rights.
But now, everyine wants thier own way and that really sucks.
Dawn is an MEP student.
SO WHAT??THAT DOESNT GIVE HER THE BLOODY RIGHT TO ALLOW HER TO KICK U OFF THE FIELD LIKE A FOOTBALL.
Think about this, if you asked me to get a bass when you are in sec one, I bet ill be walking out of the door thinking that you are one crazy woman.
While, Im NOT a MEP student, I no need to get that instru.
wells, think about this, she has to buy her second[or is it third] instru and that will be the bass, and she has to hire a lorry to bring it to school.
I know its kindda hard, but you just have ta sink it in.
The atmosphere in the room was so tense today.
Give everyine a week to cool off, maybe then we will come up with better ideas.
Ill soon be becoming ur DIRECT junior.
Isnt taht exciting?
Im trying to conveince myself.
I really dont mind bass, though I dont really LOVE it.
But really, I swear, I dont mind.

To dawn,
I dont think you will be reading this.
But hell, who cares, im just gonna get this offmy mind.
Thankyou alot for coming to cello.
Hope that you are making good progress.
I know what it is like floating and drifting between bass and cello.
Maybe we just have to see what goes on.
Maybe, there will be a suitable candidate and both of us dont need to feel sad any more.
No hard feelings ok?
:D

To Audrey and Stella,
Gosh, I cant believe that I actually **** in front of the QUEEN and ROCKER.[pukes]
Feeling good now.
Hope the air will clear. SOON.
ROCK ON.
:D

To liuyi and Shiyan,
I love you guys so much.
Thanks for being there when I needed a crying shoulder or alistening ear.
I love you guys so much im gonna go to school tomorrow and plant a huge sloppy kiss on your cheeks.
yikes.

I guess that sometimes its letting go and not holding on that really helps.
Im not very sure just where ill end up.
But im not going to let myself be upset at all these things.
Just hoping that one day I can wake up and realise that this is just a nightmare.

Life's such a BITCH.
I mean, really.

2006-02-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

gsdfghdfg

2006-02-02T05:37:00.000-08:00

Adults are funny creatures.
They talk and laugh.
Then the next moment they start lecturing ya on your lank of sense of urgency.
They are taking a real step when they say that they UNDERSTAND you.
They say that cos they say they have been through teenage years.
Then they should know that a girl with raging hermones will be better of when left alone by her parents.
I mean, i appreciate their love and all the shit.
But I just wanna be left alone sometimes, like when im writing my diary and stuff.
I hate it when you scream at me, telling me that im not being such a great daughter and how fantastic all my cousins are.
If you love them so much, go and be their parents larh.

They think im just a kid.
They say that I must take care of my dad.
I mean, like i wont.
With people hating each other in the family, am I supposed to close my eyes and see nothing?
Im also a person with thoughts and feelings.
They are not the only ones suffering.
WHY IS NOONE THINKING ABOUT ME??
Am i really so invisable?
Or isit that you just hate me so much, you dont even wanna talkto me?
I dont know.
I dont wanna know.

2006-01-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

I feel really dark and stupid today. And im gonna blog about my thoughts and feelings. So if if you are easily offended then get lost.

I took the longer route home and thought about stuff.
Hell. I shouldnt have like effed you in front of everyone.
But nerves just got better of me.
Goodness. Im just asking you to try the cello.
If you dont want then FINE. im not gonna point a gun to your head.
But did you know that your "not-so-punk","kickass" attitude drives me sick?
Just who are you to critisice cello section?
I know that you hate cello and that we are just LEFT-OVERS.
When you have no more intruments to go to, then you will grumpily come to cello.
Hell. I know that everyone come into a CHINESE orcestra to get to learn a CHINESE instru.
But dont you think that your comments are a little too harsh?
Yes, you have to open your legs to play the cello. Its big and bulky and everyone hates the idoitic sound of it.
You dont have to say that in front of all of us and remind us.
SOME COMMENTS SHOULD BE KEPT TO YOURSELVES.
I have never felt more insulted and vulgar than I had felt today when I was standing in front of you.
And the last thing I expected is Audrey to stand there and talk NICELY to you, trying to get you to TRY the cello.
And all you can do is to stand there, roll your eyes and eat her head off, saying that getting you to TRY the cello is a tactic to get you to join cello.
The best we are trying to do is to get you to at least TRY the cello. hello, we are not that SILLY and FREE.
And goodness sake, i havent even mentioned the BASS!

Cello is a beautiful instrument and everyone agrees.
If you dont appreciate it, at least have the decency to keep your very own HONEST comments to yourselves.
If you hate cello we can TRY and get you to another instru.
If you cant then TOO BAD.
LIVE WITH IT.
No need to beat us hands-down.
You also came for the interview.
You also agreed that you wouldnt mind if you get into an intru which you dont LIKE, much say love.
But you are not even giving cello a CHANCE.
WE ARE ROCKERS.
Not boring old people who try to get more people into cello by hook or crook.
If you dont like it. we are NOT GOING TO FORCE you.
You are not going to be happy and everyone will not be happy.
Then whats the darn point of getting you to cello?
I just hope that you have really changed your opinion after liulaoshi talked to you.
Come on. I hate it when conflicts occur too, especially on the first day of your CCA but, damn,you make yourself so irritating, i cant help it.
I saw you cry and I HATE it when people cry.

Quit thinking about youself, maybe its also time to think..about US. The ones who were also hurt by your cutting comments, the ones who were so promptly reminded that they were in a sucky instru. I felt so dejected, so empty inside.
I am not gonna sulk and ask myself why I am in cello.
Cos i know the answer.
I have wonderful mates and humourous seniors and,erm, a very ,erm, good teacher, everything is good, everything is ok.
Maybe you failed to see the pros.

Oh wells I dont know and I really dont think I care alot. I will just keep on striving and hope that everything is going to be alright at the end of the day.

Shit. I didnt sound ANGRY enough didnt I?

2006-01-25T04:35:00.000-08:00

HUIXIAN IS STUDYING.
SCIENCE AND MATHS AND HISTORY.
I CANT BELIEVE IT TOO.
DAMN.

2006-01-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

oh my my. i have this big darn problem with my FUN FAIR TICKETS. damn. is any knid soul going to help me?

2006-01-17T23:40:00.000-08:00

Everyone is preparing for CNY.
Its like the big big time of the year where angbaos come in.
But I doubt if I would be in any mood to celebrate CNY.
I used to go back to malaysia this time of the year.
Then showing off my new clothes to my cousins.
I was so innocent then.
What about this year?
Well well, im gonna lock myself in my room and listen to dark music about rape and murder while people are probably putting off fireworks in chinatown.

To think that it was only one year since I was 12.
Everything happens really fast.
But thats good right?
Maybe one day, i will wake up and realise that all this is just a nightmare.

Sometimes I dread the idea of sleeping.
I hate the idea of waking up into a new day.
Cos im scared, im scared that more frightening things might happen to me.

I know that my posts nowadays are probably very very negative.
If you are a sadist, welcome to the club.
If you are a positive person who hate people with negative thoughts, please click that X button on the top right hand corner of the page.
thank you.

2006-01-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

im sick of your face.
GET OUT OF MY LIFE PLEASE!
making everyone miserable.
I didnt know there was a third party.
I hate the way you treat us like dirt.
What did he do to deserve this.
LOOK AT YOU.
HOW OLD DO YOU THINK ARE??!
14?15?16?
crap.
i never thought anyone will make me cry like that the whole night.
I figured it out.
you dont love me.
so STOP ordering me around.
IM NOT YOUR SALVE.
you are the worst person i have ever met.
im sorry but nothing you do will bring the past back.
NOT EVEN MONEY.
its over

2006-01-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

trent +

guess you know where i went guess you know what to do.
XD

2006-01-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

Now i know why I cant log onto blogger.
Cos my baby brother blocked me.
I tried every single way to see how he blocked me.
Even my daddy, the computer pro was baffled.
All because my all so clever cousin raymond taught him all these stuff.
He says that he still have some more ways to block me from using blogger and all those sites i always go.
I swear im not gonna let him touch this computer ever again.

2006-01-03T03:17:00.000-08:00

guess what... hols out and school's in.
hahah
today was great though although i was kindda nervous during cello lesson.

My new class was ok though, everything was quite OK.
Char was made the class MONITRESS.
wow. i think its cos of her hair larh.
even my dad thinks that she is MATURE.
oh wells. what can i say?

Cello was OK today. or should I say very good today.
Cos he didnt even like scold me or pick on me.
Although he OCCASIONALLY compared us to Nanyang, CatHigh and of course..his very infamous primary school pupils, he cut down quite abit on the crap and talked about proper stuff.
However, let me make a note here, I think that he loves his primary school pupils so much that he never fails to remind me of them every lesson.
XD
And like Audrey says, its OK when you have gotten used to it.
Spoken like a true sectional leader indead, mature and everything.

However before the lesson, i kept on reminding myself that I havent even touched that SYF piece which i was supposed to have practiced.
And that even my cello cover was DUSTY.
Im such a pessimist, right?
And shiyan just needed to keep harping on it.

But i still played so badly, feel very upset that im like wasting everyone's time.
Cos they can only go for break when I finish playing those 5 bars.
And audrey was like so hungry, wan chien was like so tired and stella was like so restless.
I FEEL SO BAD.
And although i was like cool and calm on the outside.
Inside, i was screaming my guts out, the silence was suffocating me every single millisecond with everyone with thier eyes on me, and i felt that instance that i would rather go for 100 hours of CIP in AMK library then having to be going through that.

After reading all that, or should I say, if you were nice enough to read everything, you should be able to conclude what's my new year resolution- MAKE SURE THAT I WILL PRACTICE CELLO MORE OFTEN AND THAT I WILL NO DISAPPOINT MR.LEE AND ALL MY SENIORS.

there, saw that? I think Liuyi, Audrey, Cheryl and Stella will be so bloody proud of me. And of course it isnt just all say no action. Im gonna reserve a time this saturday, SOLELY for cello practice.

so peeps, wish me luck.
XD

2005-12-31T22:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Its 2006.
yeah.
Last night there were like nalf-naked people roaming the streets screaming HAPPY NEW YEAR!! last night.
I couldnt even sleep a wink.
Pissed me off, those idoitic squirts.

School's in the house.
well, I dunno if that is a bad or good thing....
oh wells.

I like this song.
i have been addicted to korean singers recently.
this girl is called 'star' if im not wrong.
fanweiqi sang the chinese version.

2005-12-26T02:56:00.000-08:00

Feeling good today cos i did abit of shopping.
Shopping cheers everyone up. XP
Anyways, I and char went to san's house first, then we ALMOST completed that freaking car.
Char brought it home to complete it and i feel guilty, i didnt do much you see, just giving them moral support.
lol.
Well at least ours is not like two toilet rolls stuck together and falling down when giving it just a little tug.
well...san and char knows what im talking about.

And then after we settled that car and everything, san's dad drove us to j8.
The silence in the car was suffocating me.
But at least i didnt need to think of any "intelligent" answers to reply san's dad's "inteligent" questions.
The furtherest we went was "yeah...we are watching a movie later."

Then when we went to j8, everything was pretty much the same.
And ,boohoo, no post-christmas sale.
What a disappointment.
lol.
Anyways I bought my new WATERPROOF school bag and all the other crap like stationery and stuff.
I actually wanted to buy a pair earings but dear old char snatched them before my nose.
What a darling char is right?
lol

And of course, the new JAYCHOU album.
Alright, everyone, stop rolling your eyes.
You just have to admit that his songs are good.
They sweep you off your feet.

Then we went to take neoprint.
Char was laughing so uncontrollably that I started laughing too.
Goodness knows what happen to that girl.
lol.The noes came out pretty well though.

And then that movie.
Forgot the title,.
But it was pretty interesting really.
Enjoyed it loads.
The cinema was like freezing cold sia.
Regretted not bringing my jacket.

Well today went along quite well actually.
And I have to complete that darn "The Good Earth" book asap.
fcuk.

2005-12-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

just heard eminem's new song on 98.7.
Called "when i'm gone".
Its really touching really.
Or was it just the rain?

anyways..here are the lyrics..enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------
When I'm Gone-Eminem

Yeah... It's my life... Lone words I guess...

Have you ever loved someone so much you give an arm for
Not the expression, NO, literally give an arm for
When they know they are your heart and you know you are their armor
And you will destroy anyone who will try to harm her
But what happens when karma turns right around and bites you ?
And everything you stand for, turns on you despite you ?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain
"Daddy look what I made"
Dad's got to go catch a plane
"Daddy, where's Mommy, I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know, go play, Hailey baby, your daddy's busy Daddy's writing a song, the song ain't gonna write itself
I give you one under dog and you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother... whose a spittin image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby Slim Shady's crazy Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocker by baby

And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back...

I keep having this dream,
I'm pushing Hailie on the swings
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing.
You're making mummy cry.
Why ? Why is mummy crying?
Baby, daddy ain't leaving no more
Daddy you're lying. You always say that,
You always say this is the last time, But you ain't leaving no more,
Daddy you are mine. She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it Daddy please, daddy don't leave, daddy, no stop it.
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket.
It's got a picture, It'll keep you safe daddy, take it with you I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These sinking walls must be talking, Cause man I can hear em.
They're saying : "You have got one more chance to do right, and it's tonight Now go out there and show that you love them before it's too late."
And just as I go to walk out my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone and this spotlight is on And I'm singing...

And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back...
...And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back...

Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they are throwing roses at my feet.
I take a bow and Thank You all for coming out
They' screamin is so loud, I take one last look at the crowd.
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing "Daddy it's me, HELP mummy her wrists are bleeding!"
But baby WE'RE IN SWEEDEN, how did you get to Sweeden ?
I followed you daddy, you told me that you weren't leaving. You lied to me dad, and now you make mummy sad
And I bought you this coin, it says "Number One Dad".
That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin I get the point... fine, me and mummy are going.
But baby wait...
- It's too late dad, you made the choice Now go up there and show them that you love them more than us.
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep screaming your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep... Just take another pill...
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it... Yeah, Word, Keep it real.
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see How could it be,
That the curtain is closing on me.
I turn around, find a gun on the ground Cock it, Put it to my brain and scream "Die Shady!" and PUMP IT.
The sky darkens, My life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes.
That's when I wake up, Alarm clock screamin and there's birds singing
It's spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk up to Kim and kiss her.
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister.
Almost as if to say...

And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back...
...And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,
And I ain't gon' feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain.
Just smile back...
-----------------------------------------------------

Sad isnt it? people should reallycome up with more happier songs.

2005-12-21T01:34:00.000-08:00

I dont understand.
Everytime you just come "home", have your meal then rush out again, claiming to have to meet a customer.
You work 24/7, arent you tired?
You come here, bathe and sleep, then get up early for another day.
Sometimes we dont even talk, or should i say, I try to make a conversation and shoo me away like a fly which doesnt deserve to be in this world?
What do you think this apartment is? A HOTEL????
After you get your pay then you dump a crumpled 50 dollar note to me.
NOW, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
ALL THOSE LONELY NIGHTS WHEN I PRAYED THAT YOU COULD BE BY MY SIDE YOU ARE NOT FUCKING THERE.
AND NOW YOU THRUST ME A 50 DOLLAR NOTE AND EXPECT ME TO FORGET EVERYTHING?
I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU.
I DUN WANT YOUR BLOODY MONEY.
GO AWAY

-shattered,broken,lost-

2005-12-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

hohoho.
merry xmas everyone.
i prepared no presents.
BUT
im prepared to receive presents.
lol.
lamo me.

great.Fantastic.FABULOUS.
i have like *frowns* a FEW more homework to complete.
i didnt know being a procastinator could be THAT difficult.
sigh.

yaya..i changed skin AGAIN.
lol.
as i was doing this skin i was thinking about jap class.
should i quit?
or not?
i talked to char on the phone she told me that she was so tempted to quit.
After all we have a more important exam in sec two.
But, hey, i gave up netball for jap you know?
i feel stupid giving it up like that.
I asked dad for advice and guess what he said.
"toss a coin girl"
and guess wad i did.
*arbish*

2005-12-17T19:37:00.000-08:00

Sancia is in the hospital.
Unbelievable right?
Just yesterday we were on the phone crapping about goodness-know-what.
And today she fall down the stairs and...tada...she got herself a place in the hospital.
I called her and expected her to be groaning and complaining to me, but instead, she was telling me about how interesting the doctors in the hospital were ,that she saw Ken Lim, about the nurses and thier irritating announcements over the PA system, about how everyone mispronounced her name and that how interesting the TV shows there was.
I swear she sounded more glad than upset to be lying at a hospital bed.

2005-12-14T22:20:00.000-08:00

Its official!!! 2p!!! here i come.
lol. I realise that i dun really update anymore.
maybe I should just delete this whole thing.

2005-12-09T22:05:00.000-08:00

i am happy today. =D

2005-12-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

i went to learn how to knit with Charissa at AMK today. Though i was struggling at first, but i got used to it after a while.
After the lesson, we went to eat at Mos Burger. we crapped.
then we didnt feel like going home, so we went to the pasar malam nearby. we actually wanted to buy 3 identical rings for san, char and me. But char's finger was so big, so we didnt buy after all. There was a machine with alot of tiys inside and we have to drop a dollar coin inside and make make the big 'hand' grb a toy inside. u know, like those in the arcarde.and we spent 8 freaking bucks on that and didnt get anything. one guy got 2 for his girlfriend. i think he spent about 30 bucks. oh wells.

Its offical. im going to 2pee next year. char is in the same class but not san. awwww. but anyways i am sure we will still be best of friends. YEAH!

2005-11-27T00:55:00.000-08:00

hi everyone.miss me???
i am like stuck in malaysia. damn.
i miss everyone of you out there.
havent finish my homework.
havent auditioned for cello yet.
damn. i hate my life. irritating.
but its cool over here okkaes.
i get bitten by mosquitoes every night and get nagged at by my grandma everyday.
and all the food here are HOT like HELL and i have pimples all over my face.
and the worse is that im am left all ALONE in malaysia.
cos my dad FORGOT to bring my birth cert to renew my passport u see.
but the plus side is that i get to slack and also...
i get to rent lots and lots of VCDs.
i finished watching two on Rain-the korean star.
[ ivy ng dont think that im actually a fan of his okkaes. my cousin forced me to rent that show. but you must be pretty jealous right?? hehe]

2005-11-12T22:20:00.000-08:00

alright.tomorrow i am gonna go to malaysia to renew my passport. If not ill become an illegal immigrant.
yayness??
anyways i dont think ill be blogging for a while.
now that its the hols, there is just no more juicy gossip about teachers.
every minute is going by so slowly during the hols.
sigh.
life is so monotonous.
sigh.

anyways i found some really nice quotes:
-"All kids are gifted, some just open thier packages eariler"
-"Three little words that lift you up 'i love you.'. Three little words which pull you down 'not tonight darling.'."
-"To the world you might be only one person, but to one person you might be the whole world."
-"Snow white.Cinderella.Little Mermaid.Alladin and Phcohontas.All about wanting that guy and being saved by the guy.So basically,we're all screwed up cos of Disney."
-"Trust is like virginity, you lose it once and thats it."
-"I've learnt that the dashing white knight who was supposed is sweep me off my feet has apparently gotten lost in the forest."
-"They say that kissing is the language of love.Care to indulge in a little conversation?"
LOL...YES...IM KIDDING ALRIGHT.

2005-11-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

ok...this is second time im blogging today.
and this time i HAVE something to blog about.
i have this senior who is going to leave on an aeroplane to syney and god knows when she will be back.
ELISA!!!
she is the girl man.
-funny
-nice to bully.oopes
-pretty
-clever
-lame
-pro in cello
-cute
-has nice legs
-hardworking
-nice to talk to
-jolly
-blur
-motherly..or should i say....sisterly??

here, nice girl she is.
im gonna miss ya girl.
and im sure you r gonna to.
*sobs*
must remember me okkaes.
jiayous!!! =D

2005-11-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

ok..this is one of those posts which I have absolutely nothing to blog about.
just feeling a little bored.
cos there is noone online.
the weather's so nice today.
i bet all those pigs are still snoring bed.
sigh.
im so bored.
anyways im planning to start writing a fanfic.
got the setting and characters all planned out already.=D
its gonna be good im telling ya.
so..if u want a copy just drop by and leave me a tag.
lol...jking.
im sooooooooooo lame.
drop-dead lame.
lalalalala
im so bored.

2005-11-09T23:40:00.000-08:00

I have an announcement to make.
I AM BROKE!!!
desprately broke.
i never knew i could spent so much money during the hols.
other then being broke, I have another announcement to make.
I AM SO DARN TIRED!!!
went to do CIP with ivy,sancia and charissa.
we had like such a good time there.well, i shall keep my HONEST comments to myself.
yap,but for those out there who wanna go and do CIP in the library, make sure you are mentally perpared.
it's tiring.
especially if you are in charge of the children's fiction section.
and when you arrange the books ever so nicely, those ungrateful squirts actually challenge each other to mess up the books. damn.
grrrrrrrrrrrr....kids.
cant stand them.
anywyas, there is CO tomorrow. and my instructor will be there.
im sure i'll be dead.
god knows what he will do, complain about me,his worse student or something.
freaks. I wanna fall sick.
i dun wanna go.
i dread tomorrow.
and yap,thanks liuyi.
you rawk.=D

2005-11-08T04:55:00.000-08:00

I learnt a very important lesson today.
I learnt:
*that when PEOPLE dont scold you right at your face,they scold you indirectly.and thats actually MORE cutting.
*where is the C sharp note on the cello.
*that when you cry in school, its nice to have ONE, just ONE friend to be with you.
*that maybe im plain lazy.
*or rather,that im just plain stupid.
*that primary school kids can play better than me.
*sometimes, no matter how hard you strive, you'll never reach there
*that tuesdays can NEVER turn out right.
*that I actually turn into a foul mood very easily.
*that maybe im just not in for cello after all.

help.I need some moral boosting.sigh.

2005-11-04T04:21:00.000-08:00

Today when i woke up the first thing I said was "SHIT!its raining."
I didnt even want to wake up. It was so nice and cosy beneath those covers.sigh.

Well,then I got to school and attended this maths workshop thingy. It was quite fun. Interesting or not? I have no comments.

Then Ivy,charissa and me went to watch "Sky High". During the show,Ivy keeps on saying "huixian...that "fire" guy soo cute!!!" Even after the show when we got to macs, she was still exclaiming. sigh. Ivy and her pointless crushes.

After that Ivy and me went to AMK library to attend some CIP briefing. it was boring alright. But I guess I'll be over the moon when I get my hours. *shrugs*

After we left the library, I walked to the YCK mrt station with Ivy. I didnt feel like talking so SHE did ALL the talking.

holy cow.I owe Charissa money.

2005-11-03T23:21:00.000-08:00

I hate him.

NO.you love him.

But..but..why does he always makes hikself soooo irritating.

Well..all 9 year-olds are like that.Its all part of growing up i guess.

But..he is driving me crazy!!! ripping my books and invading every inch of MY privacy.

Yap...but guess what.

What?

He is your ONLY brother.

Yap..so what about that? does that give him the right to bully his ONLY sister???

I think you are in the wrong also..shouldnt have shouted at him.

uh huh.then what am i supposed to do? sit beside him and say "you should not talk back to your sister. you should be a good little boy,listening to everything your sister says." ????

But..he is only NINE.

oh boy..get a life..where was I when I was NINE??? was i whining in front of daddy about my misplaced homework or crying just because I dont get to use the computer???

hmm..but....you should treat him better.He is your brother after all.*shrugs*

ok..lets see...i help him cook lunch, help him with homework, do his share of housework, let him pull my hair and let him spam my blog. my god..where can you find a sister like that???

I think you better go get some sleep.

Yap..and get nightmares about him.

*silence*

or maybe I should just get to bed.

Yap.

OKies..nightz.

nightz.

That was the conversation going through my head [me and..erm..the angel inside me???] when i realised that my brother had just hacked into my MSN account again.I am sooooooo going to change my password.

2005-11-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

Hey sancia,that bloody post isnt posted by ME.
It was posted by my BROTHER.
A freak whom i so stupidly,unknowingly entrusted my password to,allowing him to post CRAP on my blog.
Cos I actually trusted him.

I dunno.
We are having a COLD COLD war now.
And no..im NOT going to cry in front of my daddy and whine about my baby brother.

Anyway how would you feel if someone betrayed you?
Someone you trusted so much and loved so dearly actually betrayed you.
Thinking that you will never know about it?
I simply despise this kind of people.
And worse still,he is my BROTHER.

omg.

I feel like slapping him.
Im like so bloody pissed.
I dont what else to tell him.
All I can feel is my blood BOILING inside me.

Maybe I should go attend some anger-management class or something.

2005-11-01T23:07:00.000-08:00

Today was one word:
BORING!!
downright boring.
Cos i had to spend a wonderful,relaxing evening at the ISTANA.
All in the name of FUN.
[well.i shall keep my HONEST comments to myself..hehe]

Anyways,we went there to see my baby BROTHER play in st.mikes band.
Well..they were good i guess. EIGHT songs in a row.
And Mr.President actually shook my baby BROTHER'S hand.
man.im jealous.lol

The place was quite big though.
And there were many ice-cream vendors.yap.
And there was a pond...TRAFFIC LIGHTS...and golf course.
For those who actually went to the Instana before,you would have been expecting a few mosquito bites.
BUT..GUESS WHAT..
I didnt get any mosquito bites.
wow.

And of course,my dad was incredbilly LAME [as usual]
when i stepped into that place and started commenting on everything...
guess what he said 'well..dont complain so much.One day when your BROTHER becomes the PRESIDENT, you have to get used to this.'
I mean..get a life!
My baby brother=president
??!!
Do you get it?
If not..nevermind.

And my dear daddy CLAIMS..i repeat CLAIMS that Mr.President is actually his SENIOR.
yah right...a senior who is 40 years older than you.
-_-"

then we had dinner,then we got home,then i bathe...and blah

2005-10-31T02:10:00.000-08:00

there. new skin. nice? it was the first one which i saw at blogskins.com.

2005-10-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Holy cow.

im still missing onegrace.

feeling depressed recently.

my message to the following people.

CHARISSA: you are the beatest friend one can ever have. stay chio forever.=D

SANCIA : i simply love ur sandwiches. and no..u r NOT fat.

JOANNE : yah larh yar larh...S.H.E. rocks larh...lol..drop-dead gorgous eh?

CLAIRE : justin rocks. =P

XIAO TONG : sorry for shouting at you at times *bows* forgive me kkies?

JACY : hey jacy! love your specs..anyway i think i owe u money........

FAITH : a BIG thankyou for giving me FAITH...lol

ZHIYAN : all the best =D

PAMELA : good luck....for....u-no-what....*sniggers*

DIANA : ill never forget you...i mean.. your voice...lol

DOROTY : hi there DODO bird...[or prefer dodo fishballs? hmmmm..]

CINDY : nice hair...*jealous look* lol...jking larh.

LIJIE : you are such a GOOD girl eh? always screaming in class..tsk tsk..anyways...you are always the one who makes me laugh...keep it up =D

SUEHERN : the REAL GOOD girl. =P

GRACE : a human who has the same chinese name as me. xD

CASS LAI : the APE woman.[crazy abt monkey] keep on wearing that smile ookies?

CARINA : you have nice legs...really....*smiles sincerely*

ENRU : i know your favourite food! harsh brown with syrup! xD

YUXI : nice legs..weeeeeweeeeep

AUDREY : kenny rocks...come on..dont be shy..lol

NICOLETTE : remember to put on your shorts next time...=P

WANCHU : you are the sweetest thing on earth!!

TESS : hey there TEST TUBE! =P

GELRALDINE : npcc rocks !!

JIAMEI : hey...sorry...good friends?

WANTING : hey..wassup babe?

QINER : where is siao jian??? oopes.

VIRYA : with your voice..you can join the cheerleading squad.

JOLENE GWEE : incredible isnt it? classmates from pri 5 to sec 1?

MELODY : *sings* melodyyyyyyyyy

HANXU : poor you..always getting bullied by pamela..

IVY : i love your mum gal.

JOEY : feeling better?

JIAFENG : stay cute and bubbly =P

CHORYI : i know that sports school rocks =P

CASS TAN : you are the BEST monitor any class can ever get.

DELANY : table tennis rawks =D

hey onegraceohfive...we will stay together[in spirit] ookies?
sigh.

onegrace rocks ur socks.

2005-10-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

This is so saddening.

Its the last day of school.

I SHOULD be happy.

But, i feel like crying.

No, we didnt win anything during talent time or mini drama.

But we really felt that onegraceohfive was having a great time.

Although it was really a tough year.

Many unpleasant stuff happened.

Many teachers hated us.

Many pupils already had the word "losers" stamped on our heads.

But..its all over.

And guess what.

I think its all worth it.

Well..at least we got to know each other.

Next year we might not be able to be in the same class.

But, remember, ill always remember you guys.

Wave to me when you see me during recess okies??

i cant believe it. But im actually crying right now.

Time just passes so quickly.

When I sign autograph books.

A strange,yet, oddly familiar feeling overcame me.

I dunno to be sad or happy.

I cant believe that i am actually saying this.

But

I love you guys.

omg

im flooding.

2005-10-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

I am so shattered. Every minute you guys stay together, both of you are always quarrelling why? tell me WHY?? And now you are storming out of the room. why can't you guys just make an effort to get together? even if its for my sake? Everyone is so angry, everyone is so pissed. I am so tired, I cant cheer up anymore. those nights which i cried myself to bed,those days when I try so bloody hard to smile, i thought they were already far behind me, I thought they would never come back again.

fuck.tell me why things always have to turn out this way?

2005-10-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

BOO!! today:

6:15 wake up,brush my teeth,shit and fly to the mrt station

8:00 reach Koven,met up with Sancia, saw ALOT of dogs

8:30 reach sancia's house,had breakfast,and set down to watch mr.bean

9:00 started work, played, slacked (but we came out with the script for talenttime ANYWAYS)

9:00 to 14:00 we did the props (we had to), then Charissa teached me to play the piano (i am like so DUMB larx...remember the first part then forget the second part,remember the last part then forget the first part..oh hell..idoit me)

14:30 we reached the MOELC. had our instant noodles there. yar. Then we saw lots of RAFFLES people.

15:00 our asses were at j8, took neos then Charissa had this free play thingy..so we had another go. I looked like goodness-know-what cos i just cut my hair. haiz. then we were just like roaming around..

16:00 we were at macs.I treated san and char ice-cream. Yeah,I treated. =D

16:30 jap lesson starts....i failed my eoy...hell... (we watched DOREMON...yucks)

18:30 I go home. By then, I was already a working corpse.

21:30 im updating my blog.

00:00 i fall alseep.

A big thankyou to CHARISSA for helping me to do up this blog. love yah lots girl..san too..lol
OMG.im beginning to love jap lessons more and more
holy cow.

2005-10-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone in love???????????????????

MeMeMeMeMeMe.

no..its not Beatrice.

2005-10-19T02:37:00.000-07:00

Had a more then horrible day today.
Went to the stinking bird park.
I had to run around keeping my eyes on the sky in case of any release of bird waste.
And we had to finish this stinking worksheet.
We didnt do it anyways. *shrugs*

And I was SUPPOESED to have japanese. But in the end, we had to go for some stupid workshop. And we had soooo much FUN. Anyways we went to see the hockey girls play. Well, they were great,I can say.

Then i took the bus with Ivy and then took the train. well.. u know how it goes. I am going to give out all the warm fuzzies to everyone in co. yeah =D can't wait.

I am feeling so guilty. Today is my bro's b'dae...n i didnt get anything for him.bleah. x\

2005-10-18T22:03:00.000-07:00

Honestly, all the beatrice-es in the world rock. lol..:D

2005-10-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

Do you know that i hate you? Why are you just sooooo sickening? Why cant you just leave mii alone?So what if he asked you to go swimming with him? You don't need to tell the whole world. And you certainly don't need to think that he likes you. Cos he doesnt. So what if he asked you for your handphone number? You dont have to scream till everyone in the trian and make everyone look at us. And i beg you,PLEASE DONT'T FLIRT. Its making me puke and making me dislike you more and more. PLEASE STOP IT. Stop calling me everyday and telling me what great results you have and how the teachers always praise you and of course how many guys in your school like you and how many love letters you recieve everyday. Yes, you are pretty. When we go out, you are always saying that I cannot fit into clothes and that it is very hard to find clothes for me. Everything is all about you. I never had a say in our friendship.You never listened to me. Whatever you did was correct,was perfect.And when I had problems, just where were you? I have already tried my best. I tried to be friends with you. I had to tolerate all your nonsense and I had to be your dustbin. I am tired. I don't think I can sustain any longer. You are just driving me crazy. I cannot stand it any more. GET OUTTA MY LIFE.